Hi, my name is Maia, and i guess to start this blog i will give you a background information on myself. I am presently 31 yrs old and originally from an island in the Caribbean. 3 years ago, I had a great life there and was very happy. One day, a man walked into my life. A man that i never thought i would ever meet and a man that i was immediately smitten by. I had never felt such feelings for anybody like this before and i was totally dumbstruck by him. His name is Kevin.
I could go into the details of what happened and all sorts. But i will just cut to the chase. He was from New Zealand and he was moving back to his home country. After a long time of contemplating the pros and cons. I was prepared to give up my life in the Caribbean and move to be with him. It was a huge step, i had my own business, i had my life established, friends and family. However, i felt something in my gut about kevin and i just took the plunge. I wanted to marry him and have a family with him.
I moved to NZ 1 year ago. It was hard to be with him. Living with a new person, in a new country, halfway around the globe foreign to anything that i knew. I had no friends, no family and had to work in a minimum wage job. Life was pretty shitty compared to what i was living before. But i never wanted to complain, i just wanted to get on with things because i wanted to be with Kevin.
Cut to present day. Kevin dumped me, kicked me out of his house and i am absolutely devastated. His reasons for dumping me may have been valid to some and non valid to others. However, I accept full responsibility for my actions. You see, I had been messaging a "friend" of mine on whatsapp chat for years sending back and forth flirty messages with sexual innuendos. This guy's name is Julian. I had met Julian 5 years ago while studying in London. I met Julian even before i even knew kevin. Julian and I always had a flirty back and forth communication with each other in sort of a fantasy world. We always thought of it as fun and games because we knew we would never be together and never even wanted to be together, we just enjoyed the "game" of pretending. I never had any sexual relations with Julian aside from just chatting and we always thought of it as very entertaining interaction escaping the real world. Julian and I knew we would never be together, we never even really wanted to be together, we never had sex with each other or even really wanted to have sex with each other. We were just totally different people pretending to be something crazy in the cyber world. It was all a dumb game to me.
Anyway, kevin read my messages to Julian one day and was absolutely devastated. He immediately kicked me out and labelled me a cheater. He said he couldn't recover from this betrayal and he would never be able to forgive me. I had nothing to say to him
That was my breakup.
I was left alone in the middle of New Zealand with nowhere to live and nowhere to go. I was in shock and denial. i hadnt made any friends in NZ beside one girl. I ended up finding salvation in her and slept on the floor of her room for 2 days while i tried to get my own place. I found a place to stay for a while and attempted to pick up the pieces.
This was in the darkest moment of my life.
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