Through the Dark

Its been 6 weeks since we broke up and i have to say my feelings have not changed much. The only new stages are that i have decided to leave NZ for a while. I am too alone and lonely and i cannot function as a whole person. I do not know if i will ever return to NZ, but for now i find great difficulty in looking after myself and everything here is connected to Kevin, it is daily torture. I need to get away from it all. My health has faded, my performance at work has become a problem and i do not have any close friends or family here who i can surround myself with to help me through the loneliness and pain.
My money is low, and i cannot see much improvement in sight.
My sister has invited me to stay with her in Canada for some time while i can get my self back to an appropriate standard of human being. I feel relieved that my family is there to support me and i am grateful for at least that even though they are on the opposite side of the planet.

My goals this week are to sell my car and close off my accounts and buy my ticket to Canada. Once i can get this done, i will be on my way to building back something of myself surrounded by people who care about me instead of just on my own.
I hope to continue this blog and note the stages of me getting through this. All the advice says that i will come out the other side better than before, but for now i feel like its impossible. I hope this blog can sustain me and help me as i claw my way through the dark.